Tuesday, 27 September 2016

OUTLINE ECLIPSED















Doppelganger you,
never far from me
My damn, constant
companion, you
never let me be

You're no spectre no
spirit, too solid by far
My alter ego menace
my double, super nova
 - spirit-star

Oh shadow self, silhouette
let me see you whole
Step out from the gloom
come over here in
to the light, my mole

I wonder what it is you fear
Why darkness is your friend
Come forward, shady one
I'll protect you, keep your
ghost-trace from the sun.



6 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful shadow poem, Sharon. I love "ghost-trace," especially.

    Not a Quadrille, though. Needs to be exactly 44 words. Any chance you can do a shorter version for just that purpose? (Please be sure to keep ghost-trace, which I am enamored of, in. It would count as only one word, cuz of the hyphen.) ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great use of language in this Quadrille. The idea of a shadow being a Doppelganger is a great start, especially one you can't get rid of. But then it starts to shift and the shadow becomes more solid and I begin to doubt that this Doppelganger is benign. That is, until I get to ' super nova / - spirit-star'. This is dark and with a distinct chill: 'come over here in
    to the light, my mole'.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ah.. though no quadrille I do enjoy the haunting qualities of this...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like the rhyme pattern in this piece. Well written.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I too love what this says and the way it says it. It might be fun to see what would happen if you attempted to bring it down to 44 words – sometimes such constraints will improve even a good poem – but this one is working so well as it is, that if it's a choice between being a quadrille and being what you intended, I'd choose to keep it as is.

    ReplyDelete

Read my words? Please comment...leave your url and I'll try to make it to yours and comment also.